.

1000 calorie Sushi burrito....i like the normal ones

why is it that i can't seem to sustain happiness for more than 1 day?
is it just me or does it always seem to evade me?
funny thing is, i actually think it's me

i wear number 0 because it lets me know i need to go out there and fight everyday...

Not my resignation letter...but this is rhetoric at its best

Dear Co-Workers and Managers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But
before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let
you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been
to type "Today is my last day."

For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I
might one day leave this company. And now that this dream
has become a reality, please know that I could not have
reached this goal without your unending lack of support.
Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of
gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers both
past and present but with the exception of the wonderful
Saroj Hariprashad: in an age where miscommunication is
all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired
me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation,
ignorance and intolerance for true talent. It takes a
strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man
to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the past seven years, you have taught me more than I
could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for.
I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely
interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of
seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in
overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in
overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I
take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on
my annual review, "meets expectation." That is the type
of praise that sends a man home happy after a 10 hour
day, smiling his way through half a bottle of meets
expectation scotch with a meets expectation cigar. Thanks
Trish!

And to most of my peers: even though we barely
acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope
that in the future, should we pass on the street, you
will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye
contact.

But to those few souls with whom I’ve actually
interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Philip Cress, I will not miss hearing you cry over
absolutely nothing while laying blame on me and my
coworkers. Your racial comments about Joe Cobbinah were
truly offensive and I hope that one day you might gain
the strength to apologize to him.

To Brenda Ashby whom is long gone, I hope you find a
manager that treats you as poorly as you have treated us.
I worked harder for you then any manager in my career and
I regret every ounce of it. Watching you take credit for
my work was truly demoralizing.

To Sylvia Keenan, you should learn how to keep your mouth
shut sweet heart. Bad mouthing the innocent is a negative
thing, especially when your talking about someone who
knows your disgusting secrets. ; )

To Bob Malvin (Mr. Cronyism Jr), well, I wish you had
more of a back bone. You threw me to the wolves with that
witch Brenda and I learned all too much from it. I still
can't believe that after following your instructions, I
ended up getting written up, wow. Thanks for the
experience buddy, lesson learned.

Don Merritt (Mr. Cronyism Sr), I'm happy that you were
let go in the same manner that you have handed down to my
dedicated coworkers. Hearing you on the phone last year
brag about how great bonuses were going to be for you
fellas in upper management because all of the lay offs
made me nearly vomit. I never expected to see management
benefit financially from the suffering of scores of
people but then again, with this company's rooted history
in the slave trade it only makes sense.

To all of the executives of this company, Jamie Dimon and
such. Despite working through countless managers that
practiced unethical behavior, racism, sexism, jealousy
and cronyism, I have benefited tremendously by working
here and I truly thank you for that. There was once a
time where hard work was rewarded and acknowledged, it's
a pity that all of our positive output now falls on deaf
ears and passes blind eyes. My advice for you is to place
yourself closer to the pulse of this company and enjoy
the effort and dedication of us "faceless little people"
more. There are many great people that are being over
worked and mistreated but yet are still loyal not to
those who abuse them but to the greater mission of
providing excellent customer support. Find them and
embrace them as they will help battle the cancerous
plague that is ravishing the moral of this company.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to
the lower salary recipient ("because it's good for the
company") in India or Tampa who will soon be filling my
position, it would be to cherish this experience because
a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a
lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I
would sooner kill myself.

To those who I have held a great relationship with, I
will miss being your co-worker and will cherish our
history together. Please don't bother responding as at
this very moment I am most likely in my car doing 85 with
the windows down listening to Biggie.

One!